Monday, 16 April 2012

Should I go or should I stay

Last year I was offered to share a studio space, free, in a lovely little barn that is owned by an acquaintance, I was so excited, even though I have a place to work at home, so to take my big Swedish loom there would give me much more space to do the other creative things that I like do.

In the beginning it was all so very nice, because the person I shared it with is a painter and we spent a months there working and encouraging each other, but suddenly things started to change, she decided to start a large vegetable garden that brought in lots of other people to work there, at first it was quite nice to have other people around, but gradually, muddy boots, seed boxes, dirty mugs and plates started to appear in the studio, twice my warp had been broken by children not being supervised, so for me this idyllic place suddenly started to lose the peacefulness, tidy, organized place that it started out as, and I started to lose my passion to go there. Also I had a problem, because I didn't pay any rent, though I had offered, I felt I couldn't complain or say anything . So, that is why there hasn't been much weaving going on recently.

I have been struggling with my thoughts and emotions about it for some months now, should I go or should I stay? I didn't want to burn my bridges and cut myself off from people, but I wanted to weave when I wanted to, but I didn't have the desire to go there. So, I gave myself the benefit of the doubt and today I decided that I would go and sit around my loom and see what I felt, it was time to make some drastic decisions.

I couldn't believe how this place had changed in such a short period of time, even though I had seen a gradual decline, the studio was very dirty, like a potting shed, plants everywhere, rotting fruit on tables, where they were about to make marmalade, I think, or maybe penicilin, there were toys on my loom and my wool had been thrown on the floor, Im not a cleaning maniac, but I knew I couldnt work in that mess or dirt.

When this all started I had wondered if I had a problem with sharing, but, today, this made me realize that the problem wasn't about sharing, it was about respect. I then took a deep breath and know I did the right thing and immediately started to dismantle my loom and pack my wool into the car.

I tried to telephone the person to say what I was doing, she didn't reply so I sent a text to say I had decided to take my loom back home and thanked her for the use of the studio. I have not had a reply yet and I hope I haven't offended her by not telling her face to face. I did feel a bit sneaky and hoped she wouldn't turn up while I was doing it though, (coward that I am) but have had a few hours now to reflect and feel fine about facing her.

Sometimes we have to make uncertain decisions, but when it actually come to the crunch and we act upon it, how good it make us feel, a burden lifted from our shoulders and finally that niggley feeling I had in my stomach has disappeared. (freedom)

I am now in the process of trying to re-organize my wooden studio in the garden, to welcome my loom home, it's going to be a bit of a squeeze again, but what a big sigh of relief.


  1. I know you made the right call for yourself and I understand not really wanting to have a face to face talk. I had that happen twice to me and each time it took me a long time to leave and lost many months of sleep over it but once I left I realized it was all for the best. A tight squeeze is not too bad especially when you can breath and know your goodies are safe. Happy weaving...

  2. You've made the right decision kiddo! You know that I absolutely LOVE your wooden workshop, and I'm so happy to know your gorgeous loom has come back home. I guess we all have to try things in life...some work out better than others, but if we don't try, we'll never know!! Speak soon xx